Some of you may have seen the commotion I was causing earlier this week on my social media platforms. Tweets saying stupid crap like this:
I felt like I was birthing a royal baby
how I was lying helpless on the floor googling, “Can gas feel like menstrual cramps?”
Wondering if anyone has ever died of gas
You know. I was tweeting the usual obnoxious SurferWife type bullshit. What you didn’t know was I was in real pain. Turns out some wacky cyst exploded or some weird phenomenon but I am going to go ahead and determine my own final diagnosis. Screw the medical professionals. THIS is what was wrong with me this week:
And there you have it. I have now killed two birds with one stone. This explains my ailments from this week and also alerts you to the fact that I am not and will never again be pregnant.
Thank you for reading.