When Doves Cry And Boners Fly

Ok, pretend for a hot second that you’re a dude.  A dude that reads my blog.  A dude who likes girls that reads my blog.

I know, I know.  That’s why I told you to pretend for a hot second.  I know that there is only one straight guy that reads this blog.  He is my husband and he reads it because I force him to.

Focus.

Pretend you’re a dude that likes boobs.  Model boobs.  Playmate model boobs.  Ok, well that was nearly every man invited to the soiree with Jenny McCarthy last week.  But there was one man in particular that I asked to guard these special Playmate knockers.

Folks.  There is a man named Tim Snyder.  (Yes, THE Tim Snyder of Snyderbilt Surfboards.  That snazzy little ad I have over there on the right sidebar).  And THE Tim Snyder was who I asked to maintain the guest list.  And to maintain JMac’s breasticles.

Straight, booby loving Timmy was a good sport.  I put the guest list on a pink Hello Kitty clipboard and made him wear a rape whistle whilst performing his bodyguard duties.  Not just ANY ol’ straight, boob lovin’ dude would take these orders from a SurferWife, you know?

To thank him for his spectacular work, I choreographed the following photographs.  In addition to Jenny, he got to hit on my friend Alexa Sandberg for a while, too.  Keep your eyes peeled in your favorite magazines for her, you guys.  This chick is going places.  (I know.  I have hot friends, right?  I suddenly feel a new, male readership appearing out of thin air thanks to these gals. )

While I frantically clicked away taking these pictures, I was screaming at Timmy that he owed me his firstborn.  He had no clue I was even talking.  Nobody outside of that little blonde bubble he was trapped in, existed for a solid 3 minutes in his world.

And I’m pretty sure boners were flying high when Jenny got frisky with Mr. Snyderbilt Surfboards nips.

While Jenny McCarthy was in my bathroom riding The Surfer (or better known as my husband!) Alexa and Timmy kept the photo shoot rolling.

 

How many straight dudes read my blog now, huh?! Want more tales from our Jenny soiree? Read Part 1 here and catch Part 2 here.

(Find Alexa Sandberg on Facebook and Twitter)

 

5 Responses to When Doves Cry And Boners Fly
  1. moooooog35
    November 28, 2012 | 6:38 am

    Great.

    Now I want to design surfboards.

    Those go in water, right?

  2. Sugar Jones
    November 28, 2012 | 8:06 am

    Poor Timmy… looks like he’s really suffering. ;)

  3. MiMi
    November 28, 2012 | 8:45 am

    You have super hot friends! Except for me…LOL!

  4. Jon McFinley
    November 28, 2012 | 9:46 am

    I’d pretty much panic of JMac showed up at my house. My wife would be all like, “What the F is SHE doing here?”

    And I’d be all like, “I dunno. I’ve lost the ability to talk properly, I’m breaking out in hives and I think I just came in my pants. Can you go entertain her?”

    Disclaimer: Not gay. Occasionally read your blog. Occasionally more if it involves Jenny McCarthy.

  5. Todd
    August 30, 2013 | 8:31 am

    Forget “Hello”, You had me at “Dude who likes boobs!!” And I’m straight!!

    This blog is awesome!!

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