Some of you know I have taken up a new fitness routine. I have been doing it for 8 weeks now and the shit hurts. But. I have never done anything that has given me such fast results. I suppose spending 60 minutes feeling close to death will give you results. Now that I think about it, I think maybe I have made a deal with the devil.
The new, super hot, sexy bodied devil is called The Dailey Method. Pretty much what happens is they scream, “SurferWife, we want you to look hot, so you will spend the next 60 minutes doing the ugly cry. And we are going to look super cute with our really toned bodies while we make you beg for mercy.”
Just to emphasize my point, I have dusted off my artistic skills and provided masterpieces that capture my suffering. What you are about to feast your eyes on is an exercise the little she-devils call, ‘Seat Work.’ In SurferWife terms, this is called ‘getting your fat ass in shape.’
I lay on my back and assume it’s night-night time. Just as I start to get cozy and release a snore, they insist I tuck my pelvis and ‘squeeze my seat.’ Right as I think I am handling this, fire ignites in the room and I am suddenly in Dante’s Inferno. They have the audacity to ask me to lift my leg above my hip while my pelvis is tucking up. Within like one second, my body buckles and bats are screeching over my head, laughing at my pathetic-ness.
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| This is when I realize I am screwed for the next 6 minutes |
Just as I start mentally writing my Last Will and Testament, the instructor, with the bright smile and perfect butt, tells me that now I need to tuck faster with my leg straight up, as if I am trying to get my foot to go through the ceiling.
I would like you all to try this right now, please. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
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| I’m fairly certain my body shouldn’t be able to do this |
oh look, now she wants me to take that leg that’s straight up in the air, out to the side while gyrating my pelvis up and down. Gee, now she is saying my leg needs to be straighter, STRAIGHTER, STRAIGHTER!!!
The fire stops, the screeching bats are gone, her devil horns have disappeared and I figure this was it. I am deceased and heading on to the pearly gates. I almost hear all of you pouring a little of your 40oz Olde E’s out on the sidewalk in respect of my passing, ALA Tupac.
But no, it’s my sweet instructor telling me I am done.
With the right side.
Put the left leg up and tuck, TUCK, TUCCCCCKKKKKK!!!
My ass better look like this by year’s end or heads WILL roll. Pee Ess: Maybe I am a little dramatic, The Dailey Method isn’t trying to kill me. Just slowly beat me into submission.
Someone get me some tater tots and a mojito. I’m pretty sure I deserve it.
If I would get guaranteed results for an arse like that I would sign myself up with my own blood. Man alive, what I'd do for that girls body.
Hahaha LOVE IT! They do the same thing to us at Xtend Barre and I DIE everytime! We do these "plank dip" things where you hold plank on your elbows then alternate touching your hip to the floor…OMG PAIN!!!!
I'm glad you're having fun. I did a barre class and loved it, but had to stop because I could feel an old injury acting up.
This sounds worse than death, #Trick!
Ohhhh, I'm familiar with the Dailey Method! I've taken a few of those classes (although I had to do childcare in exchange for classes b/c that shit is EXPENSIVE!) and they are bruuuuuutal. But everyone I know who does them regularly looks amazing. Good for you for keeping up with it!
Oh Surferwife. This is why I dont' exercise. I like not feeling like death too much. Of course — jiggly butt — so you know. Trade offs.
God I love you! That is all.
I don't think anything good has ever happened after the uttering of "Squeeze your seat."
Of course, this is just a guess…
I SO did many barre classes and LOVED. And saw toning and definition and all that.
And then I didn't go anymore. And my ass once again sags.
Also, I love how you described it. It's exactly like you're going to die, and then you make it through, and then the non-sag-butted instructor says "other side!"
Whatever.
Can't wait to see your tight scared butt soon!
That is the best post!
Dude. I would do just about ANYTHING for an ass like that. You go, girl!
Love the pictures. Exercise is the debil. Yes I spelled devil wrong on purpose.
I wish my butt looked like that. Sadly, it's a little lower, flatter, dimply-er… you name it, it ain't looking like THAT. Keep working hard… I'll raise my glass of wine to your soon to be perfect ass.
Oh my God. Really. OMG.
I had no idea of your artistic talents. Those rock! Seriously…I can barely draw a straight line to save my life.
This DM kinda really scares me now. Remember when we use to just go for walks in the neighborhood? LOL
I would give two toes and a finger to have an ass like that.
But not a thumb. And not my middle finger. I need that.
I hope that when your ass looks like that, you'll leak some inappropriate pictures on the world wide interweb.
Or do a music video where you army crawl in baby oil while a camera follows you from behind.
Either way.
I had to come back to that woman's ass and stare at it for a while.
I'm not ashamed.
It's a breath-taking heiney.
[...] you remember when I told you about the day I was introduced to ‘Back Dancing Seat Work’ at The Dailey Method in Carlsbad? Well, apparently I am a glutton for punishment because I still go. A lot. And my [...]